so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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