Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
We got so high we made milksteak
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
