I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
