I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
