My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
