U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
too bad you live with your parents still
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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