i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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