weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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