i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
