I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
