Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
