Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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