Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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