How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
