Moan for me like Helen Keller
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
