He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
