I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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