I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How naked do you want me to be?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
