i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i need to put some appletini on your dick
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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