Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
