you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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