I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
