The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
