so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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