I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We have started to decorate penises.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
