took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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