My first STD was from a foam party
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
