so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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