2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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