We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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