Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
