so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
