You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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