The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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