i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
