I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
