i was born a porn star she said
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
