you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
