um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
