shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
