brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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