Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
