You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
