I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
how drunk are you?
Several
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
