bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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