I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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