But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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