I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
