you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
