1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
