Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Houston, we have a blender
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
